Guess where I am :)

Sleepy boy

Sleepy boy

Choo! Choo! There goes the baby train...see you later!

So I think it comes with the territory that as a newlywed, it doesn't take long for people ask "So when are you having a baby?"  Here are few things I'm going to say to that:

#1 Don't ask anyone that?  I mean, unless you know them well...I mean REALLY well.  Just don't ask it.  It's awkward and rude.  Even more awkward if you aren't joining Mommy & Me anytime soon.

#2 Babies are great.  So cute and funny to watch.  In fact, both of my sisters have had babies in the last month.  I love being an Aunt! I plan to keep it that way for some time...

#3 Because I'm not feeling well ONE DAY does not mean that I have morning sickness.  So don't give me "the look"

#4 Travel.  The Big Mans and I love to travel.  We both know any kind of world traveling will take a back seat when we have a family.  Which is why we're focused on enjoying new places and meeting new people. 

#5 Shoes.  Seriously do you know what kind of major shoe budget I will have to go on when children come into the picture?  For the reason,  I'll need to start off slow.  Narrowing that budget bit by bit...don't rush it! 

For now.  We're good.  We have the dog, the cat and each other.  And believe it or not, we're getting along with that just fine.  So please...when we're ready, we'll let the world know.  Until then...don't ask!  :-)

 

People are human...in case you forgot.

I've been wanting to really get back into blogging for quite some time.  I always wondered what should I focus on?  In fact, it's taken me over a year to finally figure out...I'm just not going to worry about it :-)  Posting to posterous whatever it is I want.  From travel to social media, and weight loss tips to fabulous shoes!

I love to read blogs that HUMAN. Thoughts, ideas and real insight into someone's life. You'll get that here. 

But  let's start with how I got here.  Over the last few months, I've landed my dream job.  I don't think I could explain in words how insanely happy I am and how I have to pinch myself daily.  I just love what I do. Working social media for a global company was on my short list for goals in life.  Social media is my baby, I live it and breathe it.  I wish I could tell you exactly how to use social media it perfectly, but I can't.  In fact I can gaurantee NO ONE can.  However, I'm one of those students of life, constantly learning and adding knowledge to everything I do.  I'll share antedeotes in the next few weeks about things I see that work in social media and things that do not. Stay tuned. 

Getting here however, was not easy. I moved from the north after living there my entire life (27 years) to the south.  I met a lot of people in the 2 years I've been in the south.  Some great, some...not so much.  I tend to be that person who let's those "not so nice" people bother the (expletive) out of me.  2010 was really tough.  I was told countless times I don't fit in here.  Nor was I looking to per se but I don't know if those comments really had much backing.  Why did people tell me that?  Why do people care if I do fit in or not?  I've been a fiercely independent female since coming of the womb and I've found not many people like that.  Meh, what can you do?

On that note, let's get a few things straight.  I'm a big believer in hard work and a not so big believer in obtaining success on "who you know"  While " who you know" opens many doors, it's talent and work ethic that keep you there.  I have a passion for what I do and I've worked insanely hard to find a "happy place" in my career.  For the first time I finally have.  I've also experienced that when you are successful, others you trusted don't like to see it.  I never understood or believed that fact until now. 

I think many people have misconceptions about who I am.  While fiercely independent, confident and passionate about what I do...I have feelings.  Last time I checked, I'm human.  It's tough for me to meet people, spend time and effort into building relationships and see those friendships ruined by selfishness and cruelty.  While I always enjoyed and thrived on networking and meeting new people...I do it to build solid and trusting relationships.  I came to find that those intentions were not the same of many folks I've met in my community. It's sad and at times I question who I am...but I'm done.  Done questioning reasons why people thought after I landed my dream job, I had changed.  My biggest change was that I am happy, fully happy! It took awhile but I got there.  I think at times it would have been nice for someone to say "Jess, you worked your butt off, congratulations"   Instead I was greeted with smug attitudes and even one nasty tweet from someone who for some strange reason people respect in certain circles.

I'm human and all those things that were thrown at me this year, caused a few bruises.  But I know there is no where but up from here.  So I remind you that while maybe you think some people have it all together...remember, EVERYONE is human.  And sometimes what you think is a joke and much easier to say via Twitter...text message...whatever, may not be so funny. 

While I've learned to "buck up"...I think many in social media community and beyond need to remember there are actual people on the other side of hurtful messages. Let's step off the high horses and be human again.  Please!  :-)

 

 

I'm back...for real this time

I never liked New Year's resolutions. Probably because for the most part, I would never stick to them. I've decided this year I need to make some changes. You can call them resolutions but I would rather refer to them as growth spurts. I've been holding off on getting back into blogging for quite some time.

2010 was a pretty big year, full of some major life changing moments. One being that I got married and another, landing my dream job. In between all that were many ups and downs that I think I wasn't totally ready to share with the world. But now I'm back and ready to start sharing my thoughts, opinions and ideas on everything from being a newlywed to social media to losing weight. Some posts may be planned and some...not so much. So stay tuned :-)

Posts you can look out for:

Foursquare: When NOT to check in

We're not all a size 6: How to shop for ANY size
Whole Living & Detoxing: Easily and Healthy

The Baby Train: Why I haven't bought a ticket

In 2009 I learned...

-Moving halfway across the country entails a lot more emotional strength than I ever imagined (culture shock times 100)

-Not everyone cares how much education you have, or even experience, even how hard you work, as long as you can talk the talk and walk the walk, you're in!

-I'm allowed to ALWAYS re-invent myself

-You can't expect everyone to be nurturing. My previous supervisors were all very nurturing, something I took all too much for granted

-That I'm going to be a damn good mom!

-Fashion and design is truly a passion of mine, I don't just love shoes and accessories, I LOVE shoes and accessories

-I'm passionate about being an independent professional and I shouldn't let it pass me by

-I have the most amazing husband-to-be EVER. We're "that couple" you wish you could be. Not perfect but filled with lots of love. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

-I have the most amazing family and friends EVER...seriously...EVER!

-I'm not just obsessed with social media and the new trends in marketing, PR and advertising I have a deep passion for it. And one day, I'm going to change the world with it. (Ok a girl can dream can't she?)

-That Blogspot is so 2009 and Wordpress is very 2010...so folks that is where I'm headed with Damsel in a Dress.

It is a new chapter in Damsel in a Dress that I'm very excited to start. A lot of new improvements and a lot more posts about everything. Fashion, life, my passion for social media, my transition to the south and don't forget...the wedding!

Stay tuned...

I'm baaaaaack!

After much time and thought and maybe a little soul-searching I decided to bring my personal blog back! I mean why not? To be honest a lot has changed in my life over the last 5 months since I posted. However, a few things have not. The first being that I still have not yet found a job here in Greenville. To say that I'm beyond frustrated is being nice. And a big reason why I decided to blog again was simply because I was not finding any other outlet to vent my frustrations. I also have yet to find many folks out there I can relate to on these subjects and beyond.

My situation is also a bit rare in that I made the move with a significant other for his employment. (Ah yes ladies, the things we do for love.) We're getting married next June and while most would assume planning a wedding is the time of your life, when you are jobless, its not all its cracked up to be.

So the list making gal that I am decided to come up with a few ideas for future blog posts you'll see here soon:

1.) The quandary I find myself as a master's degree educated young person who struggles to find a job for even a foot in the door. (I've given up the dream of making close to $50K in my given field, or have I?)

2.) My never-ending effort to not be known as the "loud and opinionated (somewhat annoying) girl from Buffalo" but instead "the gal with the know who and the know how to succeed in a place not quite fit for her" (Get my drift?)

3.) To stay in Greenville, SC or not stay in Greenville...that is the question and quite frankly I'm still searching for the answer

4.) Why skinny girls constantly need to talk about their weight around the fat chick (i.e. ME)

5.) My search for the perfect wedding dress

6.) My struggle to lose weight and keep it off before the "big day" and beyond

7.) Why I still am not on the Obama train....yet. (And you thought I was going to stray from my political rants...oh no no)

8.) My undying love for everything Buffalo and why one day...I will be back to run for mayor!

9.) The greatest and best ways I'm trying to cut costs and save some change while job hunting. Take for example the awesome bowling alley around the corner that only charges $6 for four games/per person! And my Dollar Tree excursions!

10.) My love/hate relationship with social media. While I think its absolutely the best thing since sliced bread, I see parts of it being taken to an immature and somewhat "high schoolish" game of being in or out. I also don't believe in social media rock stars. We're all rock stars. (Especially me)


So to my returning readers, all 5 of you. (Even you too mom!) Welcome back! To those just joining me, get ready. I don't apologize for who I am and I don't hold back. I have opinions, as I'm sure you do too. I do ask however that you refrain from name-calling and making personal attacks at me. I may be loud and proud but I don't personally attack any one person on this blog. Even you, Mr. Obama. :)

Ready...set...LIVE!

RIP: Damsel in a Dress

So after careful thought and consideration I've decided to put to rest the Damsel in a Dress blog.  

Ok I lied I made the decision today and really didn't think long and hard at all.  

I feel as though this Damsel in a Dress blog has never exactly brought me great success or positivity.  And quite frankly, no one really reads this anyways.  Am I right?  

So Damsel is putting her dress on the hanger and the kitten heels back in the box.  Not really sure what is going to happen with my writing but I guess we'll just wait and see.  

But thanks to all 2 of you who have taken the time to read this blog! It is appreciated!  

Cheers! 

Love thy city as thyself?

Ok so yes,  I'm a bit defensive about my dear city of Buffalo.  I get offended when people hate on my city.  I know some of you may feel the same way.  

Living in Greenville (which BTW, do not make the mistake of calling Greenville, Greenvegas on Twitter...you will start a riot) has been an adjustment for me.  My passion was (and still is) Buffalo.  I have yet to find that same passion in Greenville.  Sorry folks, I've been here 3 months, give me a little room!  

However, when I was in Buffalo and met a Buffalo hater I did my best to show them the good side of the city I love.  Whether it was taking them out to a new great hangout or recommending some restaurants (as we know Buffalo is famous for them!)  I just did my best to be a great ambassador for the city.  

Folks this is why I'm certain some metro areas are suffering.  Because those living in those cities are not becoming accommodating to us new folks?  I take that back, I've met some great people. I have and I'm very lucky to have found them.  

However,  some of you need to calm down.  Instead of blasting a person for taking a little longer to realize the great in a place, how about let her in and show her your fun side.  

Let's not take it to Twitter people.  I really dislike it.  And if you know me, you know that's not always a good thing.  

True Life: Greenville

Alright so its been, what...3 months?

You know, we really fell in love with Greenville and we still do enjoy it. There are lots to do and see, great restaurants and did I mention the weather? When I move to a new city I do my part to be a tourist and experience as much as possible.

A few of my favorite things so far:

Falls Park at the Reedy River, downtown G-ville (my oasis)

Smoke on the Water Restaurant (Eclectic Southern Cuisine and cheap! SO GOOD!)

Greenville Public Library (preferably Hughes-Main in downtown)

and again did I mention the weather?

Oh and one more thing, Greenville is booming with the creative-types. In fact through Twitter alone in the past few weeks I've come across a lot of fun folks. I've also discovered my niche. Social media!

Now let's get back down to reality a bit. I haven't had much luck in finding a job.

"You mean you don't have a job? What do you do with yourself?!?!!!"

I sit home and eat bon-bons. That's what I do.

No, I work my butt off to do what I can and make something happen. A few things seem promising and in the meantime I've developed my own web site for some freelancing, Glass Half
Full Communications

Mind you, its not much. Give me a week, we'll have the guts finished.

I've constantly read the articles,the blogs and done everything possible to land some sort of employment. I'm realizing now, maybe this is my "break" The break to be me for awhile. Some people take it after high school before running off to college, some right after graduating said college and some do it at 50. It'll be a blip in what I ensure will be a long and successful career. Have no doubt, Damsel in a Dress will make waves and take names.

In the meantime I've been able to learn some great meditation techniques at the Greenville Center for Mindfulness, right here in Greenville! Dr. Dale Dingledine is the founder and probably one of the best resources in the region. I can't say enough about my experience, probably because I'm only halfway through the stress management program. I know now it has been my saving grace.

Greenville may not be my dream home, but its home for now. At least its a journey I was willing to take. And a risk I jumped into, head first.


.....I'm still icing the bump on my head....

You will dislike me after this...

Sorry...I got this email today and well...I just have to share.

Maybe you'll understand me more and maybe you'll hate me more. Either way move on.

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be
when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats,were standing there, so I asked
her,'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'
She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

Her parents beamed.

'Wow! What a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until
you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the
lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll
take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and
you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in
the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the
work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

The REAL social standards of Social Networking

I love social networking. I love new, online and digital media. I hate faxing a press release or even putting one together in general. I think they are useless. I think they will be useless completely in a good 10 years.

However, where are the social and etiquette practices of networks like Facebook, Twitter, Linked In and yes, even MySpace. I treat each of those type of networks like I would someone I trusted as a friend. Quite frankly, I've done some friend purging every so often. If I haven't talked to you in a few months, you most likely don't really care about my life both professional and personal. And really you are looking for a way to cyber-stalk me. Yes...I mean you.

Now what do you do if someone wants to follow you on Twitter and really they were never that friendly to you in person anyways?

First I got the Facebook following and now its the Twitter thing.

(I'd like to add that nor do I claim to have a "following" in any aspect of my life, both on social networks and real life, but you know where I'm going)

Do we go so far as to ask, "What are your exact reasons you feel the need to add me as a friend?" I don't so much do this for someone I've never met before in my life, to be honest I've forged some really great connections and relationships with those who just liked my blog or followed my Tweets, more on the professional front.

What about those people that you've actually met sometime in your life whether professionally or personally and maybe you never saw eye to eye or you in fact never trusted them? IF and this is a big IF I find someone who I knew in a past lifetime, I do the common courtesy to actually make a personal note. I think that's just good etiquette. Same goes with professional contacts.

While I love this social networking boom, I think it may just be one way that people can stalk one another. I don't like people stalking me. Which is why I make my Facebook and MySpace private.

So stalker or follower?

You decide.

How much is too much?

So there are tons of web sites out there that you can publicize your blog.  Without sounding a bit skitzo with my last point.  I wonder if promoting this blog is really worth it.  To be honest, I've used to this blog to somewhat update my friends on my life's doings but mostly just to rant and vent.  

I've had good responses and oh-so-bad responses.  Which begs the question: "How much is too much?"  

I've had people (i.e. pretty much anyone over the age of 40) telling me "oooo watch what you post on the internet, a future employer could find it...oooo" I've had many a heated debate with said people why I think they are wrong.  Quite frankly, if an employer doesn't like what I post here:  

#1 I'd like to see them find who the real person is behind this blog 

#2 I've made sure that no employer will ever link my name to this blog...ok well I've done my best anyways.  

I've had this blog picked up by The Buffalo News for an ungodly reason.  I did like the To-Do list piece and it was quite fun but I guess it wasn't totally the route I was going down here for this blog. 

I've had people decide to take out their "I hate IrishPRGrl's manifestos" in the form of blog comments.  Which unfortunately has kept me from posting certain things I'd love to delve in to without running the risk of someone emailing me or iming me and telling me that I'm a fat pig.... (You know who you are, you know you still read my blog too,  how sad)  

So is this really a blog I want to promote?  If not then I really need to start another one possibly focused entirely to the booming social networking/digital media world and well my favorite topic:  Politics!  (Bi-partisan, believe it or not)  

If so I really can't stand censoring myself. 

Me?  Censored?  So NOT fun, do we agree?  

I'm officially a member of Twenty Something Bloggers!

Go me!

You know what makes things all better...

Listening to O.A.R "That was a crazy game of poker"....ugh love that song. 

Because of this:  

Well you can lose all your money, you can lose all your gold,

You can never lose your heart, you can never lose your soul, 

That's why I'm not gonna quit and I'm never gonna stop....

How to lose friends REALLY quickly....

Become a Republican...or not agree with Obama's policies.  

How do I know this?  Well, it happened.

Yes, in fact I've lost many friends since the election.  Some have lingered off and become... a-hem "busy".  And well maybe being unemployed I just have way too much time on my hands to realize it.  

It's not a secret that I enjoy a good debate.  And well I like to voice my opinion.  

But before you judge.  Know this:  

-I do my research.  

-I don't believe Obama is in fact going to make everything all nice, pretty and hunky-dory

-I do in fact not enjoy that people booed George Bush at the inauguration.  I'll premise this with I voted for John Kerry in 2004, Bush is not my savior.  However,  I don't care if you hate his father and think he put us in this economic situation (The recession was already beginning at the time Bush came into office which means...oh yeah...Clinton f*cked up! You want to debate this, I have proof and numbers.  But honestly, don't waste your time, you'll lose.) The fact of the matter is 9/11 happened, something needed to be done to keep this country safe, because guess what...somehow it wasn't and it still isn't.  Millions of people fought for this freedom, lets keep it that way, huh? 

Now this is an abbreviated version of what I want my president to be: 

 -Most presidents didn't use teleprompters.

-My president does NOT ban gay marriage.    

-My president keeps our country safe.  

-My president supports people who have picked themselves up off their bootstraps and made something of themselves, without government assistance OR have come out of government assistance to live on their own in a healthy and fruitful way.  

-My president makes a surprise trip to visit the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan and not an appearance on Jay Leno

-My presidents STOPS blaming either party or past president and does his job.  

-And finally, this is NOT the worst recession since the Great Depression.  I have numbers and facts for that too.  So MY president wouldn't not throw that term around so loosely.  

And that my lovlies is how you lose friends. 

P.S.  Keep on the lookout for The Big Mans BI-PARTISAN political blog...full with facts, facts, facts.  I least I got him on my side, right?  

 

  

Do you kinda get it?

So lately I've not exactly been in the best of moods. I think some of us have all gone through it sometime in your life. If you have I commend you.

Quite frankly, its those times where you are just mad at the whole world. You know it? You've been there. And nothing nor nobody can really get you out of that funk.

Look I'm not some negative whoo-ha who just wants to have people read about my troubles. I'm just kind of hoping in some small way other people can say "Oh yea! I've been there!" and possibly disregard a lot of my ranting for just plain funkiness.

If you can, thank you. And if you can't, I suggest you contact me directly and get to know me before you judge me.

Is that asking too much?

No. Job hunting is in fact NOT humbling...

Before I begin I'd like to preface this by saying, yes I quit my job on my own ability because #1 I was desperately not happy in what I was doing, #2 My fiance and the man I plan on bearing and rearing his children (oh and be a great wife to, too) with was offered a job in this god-forsaken, jesus-loving city we call Greenville.  I'd also like to say that, look, I know the economy is in the shitter and this country has not be more afraid to barely walk outside and enjoy the day.  Look I get it.  I'm not the only one....blah blah f'in blah.  I'll remind you my father a truck driver (you remember those...that form of transpiration that makes sure you get food on that Pottery Barn table of yours, ya that) of 30 years was also laid off...count 'em TWICE in one year.  So really don't go spouting your Obama loving economic stimulus package BS to me because quite frankly, I could give a rat's behind.  

And so we begin...

I'm a fan of change and contrary to popular belief but I embrace it.  Having about 10 jobs in the last 10 years (internships, part time and full time)  will tell you I like change and, well,  bring it on!  Nothing is ever really good enough for me.  I just know that my past employment I've sat in a chair and thought to myself how I could make it better, and so I did.  

Going into this whole moving south thing was not something I was a fan of, some of you may know my reservations.  But I did it.  Yes, I did.  While we're not dying of hunger down here by any means let me tell you a little something about not having a place to work or set employment.  You forget who you are.  And yet, you would also think at this time, why not take time for myself to really find out who I AM.  Hahahahahahaha...hold on a second...hahahahahahahaha.  You think its that easy,huh?  Well then your not me, so quit reading.  

Yes folks, don't lie to yourselves, you cannot honestly tell me that if you did not have the job you have or A job for that matter, you'd really know who you are.  

Let's take for example a networking event.  First thing people ask "What company are you with?" That's not humbling.  In fact saying that you are a consultant and self-employed is not really as cool as you would think it is when it comes out of your mouth.   

First of all, being a marketing and PR guru that I am, yes I am.  I have seen a lot of posers. Lots of jobs out there that claim to be PR and marketing jobs, when in fact they are dressing up as lady Liberty and waving as cars go by for Liberty Tax Refunds.  It's ridiculous.  Another reason I think Monster and Career Builder are pretty much a complete waste of time.  

Another thing about the job hunt, unlike other things in life, i.e. a death, a baby, a wedding...no one is really there to comfort you.  Nope, no one.  God bless the big mans, he tries, he does.  Instead I get a lot of "Well you are not the only one going through this"....no in fact I am.  I am in the 14 percentile of people with a master's degree (such as mine) in the industry. And I in fact know a thing or two about social media and the way it's taking the PR and marketing industry.  A lot of these old fogies (yes my elder generations) quite frankly, do not and don't give a s**t about it either.   And yet, they get hired?  FUNNY!  

You have no idea how many networking events or agencies that have no clue what this society is really going through in order to make changes.  No one embraces social media.  No one gets it.  I can't wait for 10 years when they are far behind the times...I just wish those 10 years would fly by.  

See none of this, none of these networking events and meeting new people in the area or having interviews and not getting the job has really humbled me.  And you know what?  It never really will.  I don't get humbled when it comes to my career.  Sorry.  

Enthusiasm...watch this.

Watch this...

This is hands down one of my favorite shows and the Inside the Actor's Studio 10 questions is my favorite part of the show.  

Listen to Conan's answer to what turns him on.  I think its changed my life.  It hits at :40

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w43sHs9JHEs

Vote for us in the Ultimate Wedding Giveaway

So somehow Kyle and I are in the running to win the Ultimate Wedding in Buffalo, NY!

For those that know us, you know we love Buffalo. We lived, breathed and ate anything Buffalo. In fact we still get people to call us for suggestions on restaurants and anything Buffalo!

So you get it...we love Buffalo! (Now if only a certain Buffalo employer would hire Kyle as a master chemist...we'd be all set!)

Anyways we're having a Destination Wedding set in Buffalo. Buffalo-themed and celebrating our favorite city!

Now vote for us to win the wedding giveaway!!

(Someone has said you can vote up to 10 times a day...and even more on difference web browsers...just sayin)

Here's the link: http://www.buffalobrides.com/ultimate-wedding/contest-entries?detail=1&id=19


Thank you to all who vote! As my grandpa always said "You will be blessed in heaven, my child"

:)